the new guy

dear you,
i knew from the start, we were not hold onto something
you really change
i dont know who's wrong or right
i dont know it's whether crazy or soul
you know, it's hard to do when i left a day not talking to you
i know someday i have to let you go
but this time is really not right
i try to let go but i'm so unprepared....i cant
i usually do my day with smile and that's all because of you
you're not here with me anymore.
a month, less 4 days, we trough doesn't give something to you?
but the memories rushed trough my brain
how we used to locating where the place that we were in
how you used to call me with that name
how you used your way to treat me right
how you used to say always
how we were being bad and silly
how you used to say all the "good night"
how you used to say all the "good morning"
how you used to care
now, everything is changing but i still feel the same 
feels like one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door
am i messed up and let you go?
and all I can do now just stare at the phone, but you still haven't called
i feel so cold, cant feel nothing at all
memories still memories
flashback again when we used to do all the things that we trough
you make me lost my way
where i have to stay
you know i've wasted half the time just to see you
no, im not expect something more than "how we used to" i did not mean to become "us" or "our"
i miss you
there are no words that could describe how i miss you
but i miss you since you've change, since you've gone
i miss you everyday

with all the pain and smile

-sfr-    

this time

Ran into you yesterday

Memories rushed through my brain

it started to hit me

now you're not with me

I realized I made a mistake

I thought I needed some space

But I just let love go to waste

It's so crystal clear now

that I need your here now

I gotta get you back today

This time I want it all

This time I want it all

Showing you all the cards

giving you all my heart

This time I'll take the chance

This time I'll be your man

I can be all you need

This time it's all of me.

I hit the bar everynight

Looking to score a good time

It's not like I planned it

I'm left empty handed

'Cause im still alone in my mind

Now what will it take to feel right

Can I come see you tonight?

Is there someone new now?

What can I do now?

'Cause I need you back by my side.

This time I want it all

This time I want it all

Showing you all the cards

giving you all my heart

This time I'll take the chance

This time I'll be your man

I can be all you need

This time its all in me.

Last time I wasn't sure

This time I will give you more

I'm more mature

I'll show you

Last time I didn't know

I messed up and let you go

I need you

don't say no.

Lying alone in this room

All that is missing is you

pick up the phone

Won't you come home?

This time I want it all

This time I want it all

Showing you all the cards

giving you all my heart

This time I'll take the chance

This time I'll be your man

I can be all you need

This time it's all of me.

Forever & Always

Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye

And we caught onto something

I hold onto the night, you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me

Were you just kidding?

'cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down

We almost never speak

I don't feel welcome anymore

Baby what happened, please tell me?

'cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called

And then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at all

And you flashback to when he said forever and always

Oh, and it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

Cause I was there when you said forever and always

Was I out of line?

Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide

Like a scared little boy

I looked into your eyes

Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure

So here's everything coming down to nothing

Here's to silence that cuts me to the core

Where is this going? Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore

And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called

And then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at all

And you flashback to when he said forever and always

Oh, and it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

'cause I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't mean it baby, I don't think so

Back up, baby, back up

Did you forget everything

Back up, baby, back up

Did you forget everything

'cause it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

'cause I was there when you said forever and always

Oh, I stare at the phone, he still hasn't called

And then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at all

And you flashback to when we said forever and always

And it rains in your bedroom

Everything is wrong

It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone

'cause I was there when you said forever and always

You didn't mean it baby, you said forever and always

all alone

you know the feeling that you just dont know what to do?
you know that everything is changed and you just can doing nothing
you know when you start to speak but just silence out from your lips
you know when you want to scream but all you've got is smile
you know when all the things that you did can't get enough for everything
you know when you smile deep inside you just wanna cry
you know when you really want to cry but there is no one to hold your tears up
you know when you really need a hug but there's no one there understands
you know when all the things that you said became so more useless
you know the heart broken need some new heart to fix
you know the feeling when you really need a help but you don't know whats wrong
you know when you really tired of this damn life but you still holding on
you know when everything disappears slowly but you cant keep them
you know when you are lost you don't know how to get back
you know when you really wanna free but you just cant let go
you know when you wanna see but that's all black
you know what you feel but can't tell even to yourself
you know all these feeling..
all these breaking mind and soul
i don't know what lives bring
i don't know how to hold on for something i don't really understand about
i'm lost in a world of strangers
i'm alone with no one to trust
i'm desperately need someone who could take away my fear and sorrow, who the one will bring me back to the light

two

i met a guy. new guy. this guy really unforgettable. he made me smile in a simple ways that i never expected to be happy with. this guy made me forget all the things that i've been trough alone. i was chasing "the old guy" but he was unemotional. i've told you about him on the last posts. really i love and want "the old guy" but there's no more i can do. well, this new guy really cute, honestly kind, romantic, mean, but he made my day. he also love to left me. well, i understood. he has something to do for himself. but actually i still can't change my heart. i still fell in to "the old guy". he is really my mood-breaker. when "the new guy" went, "the old guy" just appeared in my mind and life again! and that's always make me feel gloomy. you know, i really don't know what to do. fall for someone easy for anyone, but for me it's really uncomfortable feelings and also hurt. God, please, i'm begging you. give me one of them, to make me smile and take care of me. i need 'him'. God please lemme feel what beautiful memories in the past or maybe more than the past. i really want, need, so desperately wish and hope. please... 

you and i - secondhand serenade

I'm feeling distracted,

And likewise attracted,

To all the things that you let me know,

All the things that you can't let go.

You're waiting for friction,

This empty addiction

Is forcing me to intervene.

Let's break out of this scene.

I know, I'm not alone.

I'm not the only one who is broken.

And I know I'll never let you go.

I could watch the world pass by,

Just as long as it's you and I, you and I.

I watch you take over.

I'll give you this offer:

Take my hand and we'll run away,

Leave behind our past to stay.

Decaying 'til it's rotten.

A we'll have long forgotten

The memories that will haunt your heart.

Let's tear this town apart.

I know, I'm not alone.

I'm not the only one who is broken.

And I know I'll never let you go.

I could watch the world pass by,

Just as long as it's you and I, you and I.

We watch the world go by,

But if it's you and I

Then we will never die,

No we can never die

I know, I'm not alone.

I'm not the only one who is broken.

And I know I'll never let you go.

I could watch the world pass by,

Just as long as it's you and I, you and I.

distance - seccondhand serenade

I'm driving down the highway

Cold and dark, dead

(It's deceiving)

It's deceiving

And miles and miles pass by

And I'm alone

My eyes feel like they're bleeding

But I'm just crying

Is this what I ask for?

Is this what I ask for?

I hate myself when I'm away from you

I swear I'm sorry

Please don't hate me too

And I don't know if my heart will make It through

I swear I'm sorry

Please don't hate me too

I don't suppose you heard me

Call your name, girl

If you say louder,

Then I'll scream louder

The cities in between us block the way

They make it harder

But I'll scream louder

Is this what I ask for?

Is this what I ask for?

I hate myself when I'm away from you

I swear I'm sorry

Please don't hate me too

And I don't know if my heart will make

It through

I swear I'm sorry

Please don't hate me too

(Don't hate me)

Don't fail now

Hold on to hope

Cause I'm yours

I'm coming home to you soon

(I'm coming home)

Cause the road is very worn

And It's begging me to come back

(To You)

I hate myself when I'm away from you

I swear I'm sorry

(I'm sorry)

Please don't hate me too

(I'm coming home)

Don't hate me too

Please don't hate me too